Daily (At Least In My Head) Traffic B**ch

Ok, let me preface this with a few questions…Why did you buy a sports car if you’re never going to take it above 30 mph? You don’t look that good in it…Why is Grandma on the interstate with a mini-van FULL OF KIDS going 75mph…and then 50mph…then 75mph? Why did you feel a need to jump into the fast lane in front of me and then SLOW DOWN TO 50mph? Can I just say GRRRRRRRRRRR!
Now I wouldn’t label myself an aggressive driver, but I definitely wouldn’t fall into the timid category, either. I like to drive. I like the feel of all that POWER under me, that I have FULL control of. I like to go fast. (insert Tim Allen grunts here). Will I run a yellow light? You betcha – providing the guy turning left from the other direction doesn’t have the same idea. Do I speed? No, I would NEVER do something like that…..(whatever). I have no problem jumping into a space I just fit into to go around the idiots other drivers that are going 20 mph under the speed limit – and that’s another thing…why is it that when you’re in a hurry, you always get BEHIND the person who feels a need to go 10mph UNDER the legal speed limit?
Now keep in mind that I have different driving styles, dependant upon who is in the vehicle with me. If I have my boy in the car with me, I am a totally different driver. I don’t speed. I don’t run yellow lights. I am responsible for him as well as myself, and while I am (in my humble opinion, and exceptional driver – I’ve had 2 accidents in 24 years, and both times someone ran a red light at an intersection and hit ME) I still won’t do it. I also have in the back of my mind that kids learn what they see much more permanently than what they are told. Speaking from personal experience I can tell you that “Do as I say and not as I do” doesn’t work *grin.* So I want to try to teach him good, safe driving habits by example. (Hey, it’s my fantasy, it can be whatever I want…)
If my hunny is in the car, well let’s just say that something about him being in the car turns me into the stereotypical female driver. I do all kinds of stoopid sh*t that never, ever happens when I am alone, or even when I have my boy. I didn’t have this problem in the early years of our relationship, but now..? I just don’t know. However, I have decided to let him drive, if at all possible, anytime we have to be in a vehicle together 🙂
Anyways, back to my original subject (I do ramble a bit, don’t I?) In my mind, there is something just wrong about a Jaguar being passed by a Chrysler…don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my car – she’s sleek, she’s fast & responsive, she has the G 3.5L SFI HO motor (found in only 28% of 2002 Chrysler Concordes) (more Tim Allen grunts here) – but she’s NOT Jaguar quality. And yet, on a nice straight stretch of new pavement, the Jag allowed me to pass it. Not once, but TWICE (I got caught behind a semi). Now please don’t think I was insinuating that there was a drag race taking place. This was normal driving. I’m just saying if I’m driving a Jaguar, I’m gonna be in front…(can you tell I’m kinda “feminine challenged” in the car department. This is one of the areas where my “excess testosterone” tends to rear it’s ugly little head *grin*). Not only did it allow me to pass it, at (for me) normal speeds, it stayed behind me for about 12 miles. Not falling behind, which would indicate a timid driver, but just tooling along on my tail. IT’S A JAGUAR! DRIVE IT LIKE IT DESERVES TO BE DRIVEN – OUT IN FRONT!
Ahem…sorry, didn’t mean to get overly emotional there…
It just aggravates me to NO END to see these beautiful, powerful, well-oiled machines, not just Jags, but any well-made sports car, being driven by people who have obviously bought them in an attempt to improve their standing or impress someone. It is an insult to these beautiful machines. Drive them the way they’re made to be driven – fast take-offs, out in front of the lesser vehicles (I will follow a Jag any day, but I’m not going to slow down to do it… *grin*).
Ok, rant done.
Oh by the way, if any of you now feel a need to give your “being improperly driven” sports car to someone who will respect it and drive it with all the speed it was meant to be driven with, just leave a comment with contact info, I’d be happy to take it off your hands.

  • Looking innocent*

See ya laterzzzz!



  1. 1
    Nogard Says:

    So that was you that cut me off! 😉

  2. 2
    Amber Harris Says:

    I would just like to applaud you because I have a small part of road rage and I do drive differently depending on who is with me. However, I have another take on the driver in the jaguar. He’s a moron! He bought the car because he doesn’t have a woman worth spending the money on and he got the car to try to get a better woman. It is not working for him obviously and he never learned to control the car, just like he can’t control himself well enough to get the woman! Not trying to offend anyone…just making observations about the men in my area of the universe.

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