Me & My Car(s)

I know, I know, me & my f*cking cars…If it ain’t one thing, it’s another. Let’s start with the fact (and it IS a fact – or Universal Law, I’m not sure which…) that if there’s a lemon on the lot, I’ll buy it! Oh yeah, I can buy a BRAND NEW CAR, and have it catch on fire, going down the interstate, at 11:30 at night, in December, IN THE RAIN ! True story. Let’s start back a little ways, back before the Impala…I think it started with the Sunfire.

It was a 1999 Pontiac Sunfire, I bought it in January of 2001, or thereabouts. It had only 30,000 miles on it. She was purty, all black, even the trim & manufacturer symbols. It had a sun/moon roof, you know the kind you can open the vent, or slide it back into the roof, to open all the way. I got the windows tinted. She was looking GOOD. For a week. Then I noticed the stereo controls on the steering wheel got hot – WAY hot – like burn you if you touch ’em hot…So, to the dealers we went. After working all day. To sit for an hour while they "look at it." The determination was that the controls, along with the entire stereo needed replaced. And the parts needed ordered, so they’d hafta keep it for a "few days" Yeah, whatever…Then we proceeded to the question of what I was going to drive for those "few days". Apparently, it isn’t their policy to provide transportation while they fix your car – at least it hadn’t been. But seriously I had had the car for A WEEK. They brought me a rental car. Okee dokee.

So three days later, I get a call saying it will be another week before the parts are in. Alrighty, so far, I’m ok, I have something to drive, and they’re fixing my car. A week passes and I get a call "Your car is done, come & get it whenever." That day after work, I went back to the dealer’s to get my purty new car. I got about, oh, I dunno 5 miles down the road and noticed the front end/steering wheel felt "funny." Not funny ha-ha, but rather this-isn’t-how-a-car-should-feel-at-50mph funny. So I turned her around and back we went.

Now I’d just like to say right here, the fact that I have bumps in my shirt does not mean I am an idiot. Not even mechanically. I know a bit about 4 wheeled, vehicular modes of transportation. Probably more than the average bumps-in-the-shirt type person, so don’t try to double talk me or feed me a line of shit about my vehicle. I HATE that, it aggravates me to no end, yet happens on a fairly regular basis…

That being said, I pulled back into the service dept and explained why I was back. One of the mechanics took it for a drive, then came back and said that I had "tar on my tires." Huh?!?! I wasn’t even blonde then…They were all serious about that being the cause of the wobble/thunking coming from the front end. Uh-huh. On the off-chance that they were right, I figgered I’d take it home & have hunny drive it. Now keep in mind, it has been in their shop for a week and a half – where did this tar come from? And when did they start making invisible tar..?

Hunny drove it and agreed with me that

a) It wasn’t right, and

b) there was no tar anywhere near any of the tires.

So, the next day, after working 8 hours, I AGAIN went back to the dealership. I explained to them that I didn’t think it had anything to do with tar or tires, and stated fairly plainly that despite their vaunted opinions, I wanted the front end checked out, thoroughly. So again, I sat. This time for almost three hours. The manager dude finally came to tell me that "Hmmm, imagine that…there isn’t any tar on your car anywhere, but the front ball joints, the bearings, and the rotors on ALL 4 TIRES were bad."

Really?

So we did the alternate-form-of-transportation-dance again, and he was finally convinced that it was in his, and the dealership’s, best interest to again provide a rental vehicle. At this point, we’re going on almost four hours, after working all day. Let’s just say I wasn’t the most pleasant person on the planet right about then – not even close. (And despite the fact that many people who now know me believe me to be a fairly reasonable, mild mannered, easy-to-get-along-with type of gal, that’s only because that’s what it is safest for them to believe…those who have known me a while know much better) Forty-five minutes later, a young kid shows up in an overgrown roller-skate, and calls it my rental car.

Uhhhh…I don’ think so. And I told him I didn’t think so, in no uncertain terms. I’d say I made my point, because he left to get a real car, and when he came back, he brought back-up. Really. He had two other guys with him, and it appeared their sole purpose was support, ‘cuz all they did was ride down with him & back to the rental car company with us….

Ok, I’ve had the car for two and a half weeks, of which one and a half was spent in the shop. And now it was back. This time for three more weeks…parts were on back order – go figger.

I did finally get it back in good decent running condition, and kept her for about 6 more months. Then it was time to start thinking "baby" and "bigger vehicle."

Ok, bed is calling, rather loudly I might add, so I am heading that way. We’ll just call this "To Be Continued…"

See ya laterzzzzzzzz!

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