From the Grimoire of a Blond Witch

How to Turn Your Wardrobe Black

Needed:
Dark sunglasses
Late at night, close all the curtains and turn off all the lights. In your bedroom, open all your drawers and closet doors. Stand in the center of your bedroom with sunglasses in your hand. Close your eyes and say:

“Hocus bogus Color out of focus!”

Carefully put on your sunglasses and open your eyes. Your wardrobe should now appear black.
*PLEASE NOTE: This spell will only last as long as it is dark.

Giggle Fits

She may already be unintelligent but the giggle fits will rid her of the finer gents And bring to notice your wit and charm. When she is in plain view, spew:

“Giggle wiggle,

Start as a gentle tickle,

Down her ribs to her belly hollow.

Tickle harder and make her holler!”

Proper Hair Removal

If the razor burns and the waxing hurts and still the mustache prevails, then chant this spell that rids all of your woeful hairy ails.

“By dungeon dust
And oxen musk,
I so here decry!
My hairy lip
And legs to slip,
Smooth of pip,
And soft to thine eye.”

Banishing Circles

Casting circles takes little effort for the well bred blond. Unfortunately, we are rarely told how to banish circles once they have set in. Covering circles with a foundation is highly discouraged because of the element of water which would make the circles reappear. To properly banish circles under the eyes, thinly slice an unused cucumber. Place a slice over both (two) eyes while lying down.
Chant:

“Ooooooo…
Ahhhh……
Mmm…..”

Disclaimer: No one involved in this blog or its contents may be held responsible for any adverse reactions arising from following any of the instructions/recipes on this list. It is the reader’s personal responsibility to exercise all precautions and use his or her own discretion if following any instructions or advice from this blog.

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