Archive for the ‘ADD’ Category

There’s Birthdays A’Comin’ – And A Bitch Session – LOL

December 11, 2008

Ok, I finally have a couple of unoccupied minutes, where do I start..? We’re in the new house, but I think you all know that already. We’ve added a new family member to our growing menagerie ok, I admit, 2 cats really isn’t a menagerie, I just like the word J The tree is up, and many of the decorations have made it out of their boxes, but many more sit amongst the unopened boxes filling my garage, just hoping they will be found and allowed to bring us happiness. Whether this happens or not, I dunno, I kinda doubt it.

Saturday is the boy’s sixth birthday. Did I mention he has lost another tooth..? Hunny was all worried because one of his bottom front teeth was growing in behind the baby tooth, which was loose but didn’t seem to have any intention of coming out anytime soon. But out it did come, and the other has moved forward right where it’s supposed to be. Back to the birthday…We actually have 2 December birthdays, Shayne’s is the 13th and Tony’s is the 27th. Makes for a busy December, lemme tell ya. And, If I count in “honorary” family members, we have Stacey’s on the 29th (I think…), my best friend D’s on the 19th, and her daughter’s on the 17th…whew.

Last year during “open enrollment” I asked for Saturday off, and got it. So Saturday is his party. I think this is the first time in quite a while that it’ll actually be on his birthday. My little Friday the 13th baby. We planned it that way ! No really, we did I was induced and got to pick the date J He’s also my snowbaby. The day he was born it was miserable outside, cold, windy & gloomy. They had called for snow, but none had been forthcoming. At the very moment my boy decided to join the world, the snow began to fall. And it has snowed on his birthday every year. Yes, I know, I wander a lot in my writing. Sorry, that’s just me. I sometimes wonder if I don’t have adult ADD but that’s a whole nother post *grin*

Back to the party (again). We aren’t doing anything spectacular, just some friends & a cake, but what’s a party without drama? The drama this year is coming from the in-laws (go figger). Apparently since Shayne is now in school (what this has to do with it I have no clue…) they prefer having a “private” celebration to coming to the house for the party. Why is this drama? you ask …welllllll it starts all the way back to when I found out I was pregnant. Well, even before then, really.

Hunny’s sister had made it abundantly plain, in ways I won’t go into here, (but use your imagination), that she was never, EVER going to have kids. Then Shayne came along, and suddenly she was no longer the baby of the family (mind you she was in her 30’s at this time) and center of the universe. Shayne was born in December of 2002. Abby, her daughter, was born in June (or July, I can’t remember exactly) of 2004. All of a sudden, the woman who went to a lot of trouble to NOT have kids has a kid…. I don’t know what all has occurred in this dynamic before I joined it, but I can tell you what I’ve seen since….Hunny’s parents have kept our boy over night 4 times. In 6 YEARS. Never more than two nights in a row. The last time, we found we were going to be about two hours later than originally planned (original plan was to pick him up late afternoon, it turned out it would be early evening), and his parents flipped. The reason for the delay was that we were going to have dinner with our daughter-in-law. When Hunny called to say we’d be a bit later, all Hell broke loose. He left to go get our boy, and from what I later heard, angry words were exchanged between him and his father well, an attempt at angry words was made. Hunny shut him down, telling him it wasn’t an appropriate discussion to have with a 3 year old present.

Now, while just the fact that they’ve only kept him four times is in itself a bit odd for Grandparents, in my opinion, but they rarely keep him at ALL, even for a few hours during the day. He’s been at their house, without us probably a total of 10 times in his life, including the four mentioned above. Abby, on the other hand, is there constantly. Abby is Hunny’s sister’s daughter now there’s a mouthful LOL! Really. Anytime I have taken Shayne to visit in the last 3 years, she was there. They have made one of their spare rooms “her room” They kept her for 2 weeks while her parents went on a cruise or something. They also go to Hunny’s sister’s house a couple of times a week. She lives about the same distance from them as we do probably 25 miles one way. You know how often they come to our house..? They haven’t even seen any of the last three houses we’ve lived in. And apparently they aren’t going to see this one now, either….’cuz he’s in school now (?)

Understand, these are the only biological grandparents my child has both of my parents are dead and have been for years. But like I told Hunny, it’s really okay there are a whole bunch of people in his life, that know him well, that call themselves his grandparents and fill the bill very well. (I can think of three families who’s “patriarch” and/or “matriarch” consider him their grandchild and they have chosen to be in his life, not been thrust there by fate)

Ok, now that I’ve turned this into a bitch session *grin* it’s time to get ready for work. I will try to update more regularly. My computer still isn’t working properly I have missing programs, what I have tends to freeze up, and it just isn’t right. But one of the guys from work is going to come look at it in the next few days, so hopefully all will be well again !

Gotta go, see ya laterzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! ! ! !

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First Day of School & Wanderings – As Usual :)

August 13, 2008

Today is the first day of school for my boy. We leave for school in about an hour & a half – and he’s driving me absolutely BUGGY! I was woke up by the question

"Do you know what day it is?" posed to me before I even got my eyes open. . . never a good thing. I do mornings very poorly to begin with. And the child hasn’t been more than 2 or 3 feet from me, except when I am at work, for the last month. It’s starting to wear on me. That last statement isn’t an exaggeration, either. I feel like I’ve grown an extra limb. When he’s not up my butt, I hear "Mom?" literally every two minutes. If I get up to go downstairs, he follows on my heels, walking 6 inches behind me while I attempt to do whatever needs doing. He won’t go upstairs alone. He won’t go DOWNSTAIRS alone. He barely will go in his room alone, and I’m about over it.

Not very Mommy-like, huh? Yet another item to add to my things-I-feel-guilty-about list *sigh*

This morning, about every 10 minutes I hear "Mommy? When are you going to get dressed" or "Mommy? How many more minutes until we go?" or "Mommy how many minutes has it been?" This started at about 8:00. It’s now about 11ish, and we don’t leave for another hour – hour and fifteen minutes. AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH.
I’m very happy that he’s excited about school starting, and hope he retains that desire to go to school for the rest of his school career, and I keep telling myself that this pestering to go is a good thing, but DAMMMM, I’ve heard all I want to! I am nearly as excited as he is, and I’m sure a lot more nervous. I mean c’mon – this is the arena where my (our) parenting skills will be judged, Daily. He’s a good boy, but very energetic. I foresee ADD accusations in his future – with which I will  heartily disagree. I do believe ADD is a real "disease" and that there are children who have to try to function through it. But I also believe there are MANY MORE parents – and schools for that matter – who are unable or unwilling to deal with an energetic child and go looking for this diagnosis so they can medicate said child and therefore have a more pliable and calm child who will no longer challenge them.

The premise – nay the NAME – of ADD is Attention Deficit Disorder. This implies problems PAYING ATTENTION to something – anything. It doesn’t mean a child who is high-energy, intelligent, full of challenging questions,and is basically – though not always – undisciplined. Yet (in my opinion) the majority of kids diagnosed as ADD are exactly that. And the adults in their world can’t or won’t cope with it. I truly fear for the world of these children’s generation. What happens when they become adults? Does ADD go away when you reach a certain age? Or will they be medicated for life? And truly, aren’t the adults who allow this to happen just giving these one-day adults an excuse not to be productive, responsible people? "Oh, I can’t hold a job – I have ADD", " I can’t be bothered to pay bills – I have ADD", "I’m not responsible for my actions – I have ADD" Kinda scary, if you ask me. We already have a generation of "It’s not my fault . . ." adults who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions because they have a million reasons why nothing is their fault which have been spoon-fed to them since childhood.

Wow – I really do have a propensity for wandering from my original subject – that wasn’t what this post started out to be at all . . . and just think – this is how my mind works all the time . . .

Ok, so, back to school and my boy. Who is currently sitting on the floor, leaning against the desk, about a foot from me. And every few minutes trying to crawl up in my lap . . . Don’t go thinking I haven’t paid any attention to him either. I have. A lot. I always do. I answer his questions when possible – even the pointless ones. Well, mostly. Except for the "What happens if . . " questions, which I DID answer for months, but have told him I will no longer answer if they aren’t "real" questions. What are "not real" questions you ask? Let me give you an example.

Stacey lives about 10 miles north of us. We were going to get my car last weekend, which was even further south than our home, and passed a fire truck & ambulance with lights on going south. Here’s the conversation:

My Boy: "Did you see the fire truck and ambulance?"
Me: "Yes . . . " (how could I not? I was driving.)
My Boy: "Where are they going?"
Me: "Well, someone is probably sick and they’re going to help them and maybe take them to a hospital."
My Boy: "Or maybe they’re hurt."
Me: "Yes that’s possible, too>"
My Boy: "Maybe there was an accident."
Me: "Yeah, there might have been an accident, but we just came from that way and didn’t see one."

OK, now here’s where it gets jinky . . .

My Boy: "What happens if they’re going to Stacey’s house?" Now remember they were going SOUTH, Stacey lives NORTH – way NORTH from where we were . .

Me: " I don’t think they’re going to Stacey’s, she lives the other way from where they were going."
My Boy: "But what if they were?".
Me: "Honey, they aren’t going to Stacey’s. Stacey lives that way *pointing north* and they were going that way *pointing behind us – south"
My Boy: "But what happens if they were? What happens if someone is sick at Stacey’s? Or hurt?"
Me: ***starting to get slightly exasperated – mind you this is a very intelligent kid. As a rule, he grasps concepts and knowledge the first time around. He remembers things he was told, or heard, literally YEARS ago, and he’s only five.*** "Shayne, honey they aren’t going to Stacey’s. No one is sick at Stacey’s, and no one is hurt. If they were going to Stacey’s, we wouldn’t have seen them, because they would have been going the other way. Now please drop it."
My Boy: "But what happens if . . ."
Me: "That’s just about enough ‘What happens if . . .’ questions. If you have an actual question, about an actual situation, I’ll answer them all day long. But no more hypothetical questions. I’m done."
My Boy: "What’s hypothetical mean?"
Me: *sigh* and we were off again . .

Ok, well I guess I oughta go clean out my car, since I’m picking Hunny up so he can go with us. Hopefully I’ll be back later with first day pictures 🙂

See ya laterzzzzzzzzzz ! ! ! !