Archive for the ‘Tired’ Category

A Kentucky Wedding – and Other Ramblings

April 13, 2009

As I mentioned in a previous post, we attended a wedding on Friday. In Kentucky. Hunny’s aunt Anti got married to her long-time honey Jigger. Again. I think she’s been married almost as many times as I have…hopefully this one will be as good for her as my last one is for me 🙂

We were a bit flustered when we found out the wedding was at 1:00 on a Friday. I mean we do have jobs and all. But luckily we had (almost) enough notice that it really wasn’t a problem, at least not a big one. Hunny gets 3 weeks vacation, and I get two, none of which either of us had used any of so far this year. We also get personal days – although his are much better, as they really are personal days – he can call in for any reason, on any day, an hour before his start time, and he’s good. I, on the other hand, have to schedule all days off – except sick days of course. You might know that day was “closed” so I had to give up my day off, and work for someone else, so she would work for me on Friday. I got the day off, but it wasn’t easy. Which is probably good, because if it had been easy, I would have spent all the time between approval & the day of wondering what was gonna happen….and of course “it” happened anyways, my boy was/is sick.

Anywho…we figgered about 2 hours for the drive, each way – wedding at one means leave about 10. I was a bit hesitant about taking the boy, for all the regular reasons there are for not wanting to spend two hours trapped in a vehicle with a six-year-old, expect him to then behave in a church, and be again trapped for 2 hours… And once he started having problems, my reservations grew. I considered staying home with him, but he was excited about going, and he seemed basically ok that morning. I dosed him with Motrin & Pepcid, taking both with us, along with his bucket, his big (32 oz) cup of ice water & his Gameboy. Other than my Speedway STILL not having the iced coffee machine fixed (I’m addicted to the French Vanilla) the trip down was pretty uneventful. We did get a phone call about 50 miles into the trip to tell us we had the wrong directions….but in spite of all, we made it with time to spare.

I had asked Hunny the day before what he was planning on wearing. His response..? “Jeans! I ain’t dressing up! This is what her 20th wedding..?” Yep, that’s my Hunny the epitome of tactfulness…he also made the comment that they were getting married on Good Friday, cuz Jigger was getting hung out like Jesus did on the same day…like I said, tactful…(he actually shared that comment with Anti) Back to the subject at hand – when he said jeans I said woohoo! that makes my life much easier. Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of dress up clothes – scads of them, actually, since I have to wear the “monkey suits” (as I call it) to work most days. Which is why I was thrilled with wearing jeans. Besides, Anti & Jigger are way more redneck than we are, and that’s saying sumptin’. We fully expected casual (we’ll get to that in a few) church not withstanding. Yeah. We were wrong. Mostly…We did wear nice jeans, & dressy shirts, but Hunny had the boy dress himself while I was getting ready, and, well, his outfit wasn’t even close to dressy – as you’ll see here shortly.

Dad had called to tell us about the wrong directions & give us new ones, which included “yellow building” and “antique shops” and the information that Mom’s car would be parked in front of the church sign. In his defense, he did well, we found it no problem. They got married at a pretty little Pentecostal church in the burbs of Louisville. Yes, I entered a church & survived to blog about it 🙂 But everyone we encountered, including Miss Mom (unfeminine sister-in-law) was dressed. Not just wearing clothes, but dressed. In dresses & suits. Except the bride – she was still in jeans (mind you, we arrived about 30 mins before the wedding was due to start).

This is the point where we found out she wanted the boy to be her ring bearer. Huh?!? Are you sure about that..? She was sure. Blue jeans, Batman shirt and all…

ringbearer

Did I mention Hunny also let him spike his hair himself..?

Anyway, other than the Maid of Honor (Anti’s daughter) deciding she needed to go to Walmart 3 min before the wedding was due to start, it went very well. Once the ceremony was over, the cake was cut and the food was eaten (coldcuts, crackers, chips and “chocolate meatballs, as our niece called them). I did start to feel better about our attire once I got a good look at some of the other attendees. I thought I taken more pics than I did of the outfits on display, but I only got this one…

wedding shoes

Yep, that’s shower shoes with socks, along with a button-down shirt & suit pants. We also had plus sized zebra stripes, flowers galore, and an almost-mini skirt (there really wasn’t even enough material to qualify as a mini skirt…). There were two cakes, a regular cake & a redneck cake…


cake11

cake3

cake2

It says “Now all you can do is run to the end of  your chain.’

The ride home was rather bad – the boy fell asleep about 10 minutes into the ride. “That’s good” you’re thinking, I can hear it, but no, not so much. For several reasons, the first of which is that when he falls asleep in the car, unless he stays asleep until we get where we’re going, he usually wakes up whining & crying. Almost every time. Add to that he wasn’t really feeling well to begin with, and had had drunk a can of Sprite before we left. He was also getting grumpy just before we left. So was Hunny. You see, the boy wanted to play. Kid logic says if I don’t feel bad right at this moment, I’m fine until I’m not. Nowhere in kid logic lives the knowledge that a temporary reprieve is not justification for running, yelling, jumping & generally being a kid, because this will cause the misery to return. Which it did. 2/3 of the way home. Not only did we have the “I hate waking up in a moving vehicle” attitude, but we also had “my belly is starting to hurt again” and “my neck hurts” and finally, once we hit Indy’s rush hour traffic (we got back to Indy about 5:30) “I need to pee.” We mixed that up with Hunny’s mounting frustration with the idiots around us, and it was not fun.

We survived, but as you saw from Friday night’s post, we didn’t survive it well. The boy was up & whiny every 30-45 minutes Thurs, Fri & Sat nights, so while I got up with him, Hunny was still woken repeatedly, and he’s not used to not sleeping, like I am, so yesterday wasn’t very pleasant, either 😦 He did go to work today, which is a relief to all involved, and he did sleep last night. I called the doc Saturday and he called in some antibiotics for the boy. Despite Hunny’s assertion that the boy’s “neck” hurt from heartburn, by Sat afternoon, his neck felt like there were two robin’s eggs inside it.

Rest assured, despite a slight fever this morning, he is just about back to his normal self. Lucky me. Well, gotta go. He’s demanding food. If I weren’t so glad to see him eating again (he really didn’t eat Friday, Saturday or Sunday, and ate only some Mac & Cheese Thursday) I’d be getting upset…

he still doesn’t feel good

he still doesn’t feel good

he still doesn’t feel good

As long as I keep telling myself that, I won’t throttle him *grin*

See ya laterzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! ! ! ! !

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My Blog – The Life & Times…….

March 19, 2009

Remembering my life. Chronicling it. That’s why I started this. How sad that the chronicle of my life has become a daily recitation of the puzzle I do each morning…Nothing about the temper tantrums my son has taken to having, and how tired I am of listening to him & Hunny go at each other constantly – tired to the point of tears. Nothing about the insecurities that have begun to surface as each day passes. No commentary on the struggle to get “the ends” at least within sight of each other – meeting not even an option at this point. The inability to sleep for more than an hour or two without waking up, therefore never really sleeping. The fear that the “other shoe is going to fall” because I know that despite how stressed I am, and what a struggle every day is, we still truly have it good. Trust me, I’ve had it bad, and this isn’t even close.When’s it going to happen, because it will. I’m not sure exactly what “it”  is, but I’m fairly certain it will be about as far from pleasant as white is from black.

I tell myself “People don’t want to read that crap – they have their own problems!” But really? I started this for me. For us. To have a way to go back and say “Oh yeah! That happened then ! Now I remember!” because my mind is becoming a sieve. It’s scary. For a person who has always been able to remember every little detail about everything, this is a whole new world.

Nothing about the progression, the ebb and flow, of the “magical, musical pain” as I call it. How stress makes it hurt more. How the hurt makes the stress more. I intended this to be a diary of sorts, a place where I could “let it all hang out,” so to speak. I’m the “strong” one – always have been. I don’t need your sympathy, your help, your comfort, your approval. For over 30 years that has been the me that everyone – and I do mean everyone knows. No time to call and say “hey”? So what! Too busy to go to the parent/teacher conference, good deal. Can’t be bothered to remember my birthday..? Who cares? I don’t need these things from you – no matter who you are. I actually own a t-shirt that says “Fuck You! I have enough friends.” I’ll put up a pic if I can find it… But I digress.

I created this “place” so I could not be that person. So I could be insecure, and afraid, and lonely, and even occasionally needy. A place where I could be the one getting comfort instead of giving. Crying instead of embracing with support. I also wanted to record important, and not important things as they happened, so in my busy world, they didn’t get thrown into that horrid “someday” file that seems to be infinite in size, yet inaccessible when there are a few free moments to review the contents within. Yet my world seems to have become “someday.” At least, everything important has. Someday we’ll go to the zoo. Someday we’ll take a vacation, Someday…And I’m so afraid someday will never come, for one reason or another. Yet how do I change it? I don’t see a way around doing each day the way I’m doing it -  I can’t not work, we barely make the bills as it is – feast or famine. I can’t even change my hours because I’m being held hostage by a school bus.

If I see my husband an hour a day, I consider myself lucky – seeing him sleep really doesn’t count as “seeing” him. My boy is asleep when I get home. In the mornings, he’s acting like a teenager in a 6 year old body. When your child is smart enough to find a loophole in every situation, and has the attitude of a teen, what do you do? I can’t really respond as I would to a teen – while he is intelligent he’s still a six year old emotionally, and he still follows six year old logic – he just uses college level words to do it…

Wow, I don’t even know what I’m doing here…apparently sleep deprivation tends to make one ramble – because anyone who is familiar with me knows I always stick right to my subject, and never wander from it….

Ok, going to go lay down and not sleep soundly. G’night!

See ya laterzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! And oh yeah – I haven’t forgotten HH Gregg – I will get there, eventually….:)

Update

November 22, 2008

Still alive & kicking, not necessarily happy, but here. Too much shit left at other house, and no time to get it moved…when you work 6 days a week it makes it a bit hard. Hunny & I both ended up taking a day off – well he did, I had to trade my Tues off to get Sat off & eat 2 hours, and on top of it, I had to call in on Wed to take my boy to the doctor – beginning stages of bronchitis(sp?). But I couldn’t MOVE anything unless I wanted to haul a sick child back & forth in the cold… *sigh*
And Goddess only knows when I’ll get my cable/phone/internet transfered. Apparently, in order for the person who “does” employee service requests/changes to even PLACE THE REQUEST, HR has to confirm that the address I’ve given is actually my address per the new website-update-information-place. Mind you, I changed it there last Thursday or Friday. Yeah, that’s a week. Note the NEW – translation, still probably has bugs…AND apparently, HR only deigns to “update” that info when we get paid. Every two weeks. A week from now. So in a week, if she feels like it, our liason will contact the person at the other cable company in the area (because of course I don’t live in OUR service area, instead I live in theirs…not that that is necessarily bad…) and request my service be scheduled to be moved. Then we get to try to find a date someone can be there, because despite I spend all day every day troubleshooting & fixin people’s CABLE SERVICE, I’m not capable of hooking up my own equipment….
AND, IPL (our electric company) has decided that November is when we have to “even up” our budget billing (voluntary, I like paying the same amount every month & prior to this it has always worked out well). When we moved into the house we’re moving out of, we went from about 1200 sq feet to about 2300. But according to the woman I spoke with to do the transfer, the budget amount was the same. Huh? 1200 & 2300 sq feet of space use the same amopunts of electricity..? In what parallel universe..? But, realisticly, the bigger house was much newer, and I let her convince it was due to it being much more energy efficient… I questioned this statement repeatedly, but she assured me it was so. Now I have a $450 deficit I have to pay up by Dec 11…
So, shall we just say I’m not exactly the happiest – or nicest for that matter – person on the planet at this point in time..? So, it’ll be a while before this is regular again…(ahem, that sounded suspiciously like a fiber commercial…). Well, as regular as it gets *grin*
Gotta go work – ewwwwwwww
See ya laterzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! ! !

In defense of those who sent you here…

November 7, 2008

As I am visiting my regular reads, it suddenly dawned on me that I have been placed in a couple of people’s blog rolls. Damm. Pressure. That means, in order to keep them from looking bad for having recommended my blog, I am obligated to post something here. Preferably something not useless and boring drivel, which might be a trick….

*Sigh* Ok, here goes. I am working on getting my cubicle at work decorated for the holidays, turning a deaf ear to "It’s way too early for that (while pointing at said decorations)", "It’s not even Thanksgiving yet!" and "Are you kidding me?"s. On a positive note I have also been asked if I’d "be offended" (huh?) if a co-worker started decorating, and been told I am "just filling me (the speaker) with the spirit!" All of which tends to lend strength to my "Holiday Spirit" theory. *Grin* I figger "What the Hell..? I probably won’t get to decorate at home…" You know, the whole landlordliedtoourfacesandhasnowruinednotonlyChristmasbutalsotheboy’sbirthdaycuzwehaftamoveagain thing…

So, honestly, it’s really hard for me to be entertaining right now – if I even ever am…I’m not one to snivel or whine, as you know if you come here even kinda regularly. Matter-of-fact, I have very little tolerance for snivelers…but DAMM I’m tired of fighting just a step ahead and then be slammed back four. We really thought we were going to stay here and eventually buy this house. So much for that. And as someone who went to 17 different schools, and someone who has no "life long friends" as a result, I don’t want that for my boy. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got friends that have been there for a long time, but it’s not the same as knowing someone from the time you were able to know – did that make sense..? I think it did…

Okay, outta time for now, gotta get the boy dressed & ready for the bus & myself to the work. I’ll try to keep posting fairly regularly – I wouldn’t want to make anyone recommending my blog look bad…

See ya laterzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! ! ! !

Oh Goodie! ! ! !

November 3, 2008

Well, aren’t I the lucky one..? Now I get to fuc**ng MOVE again. We thought we were all good…when we rented the house we made it clear we didn’t want to move anytime soon, the lady we rented from was all good with that. No problem, renewal is good, rent won’t go up…then she sold the house. It seemed all was still good. We met with buyers, seemed like decent folk, basically, although quite honestly, I didn’t trust her as far as I could throw her, but hey, what could I do? She now owned my house.
We should’ve known it wouldn’t be quite so good when we tried to get back the money we had spent to put screens in a couple of the windows, since none of the windows had screens when we moved in. Now mind you I’m not talking hundreds of dollars – we’re talking about $30. Like pulling teeth. Nevermind they had indicated in our initial meeting that they were going to a) replace the nasty carpet, b) fix all the holes in the walls, c) replace all the interior doors that likewise have holes in them, d) replace the board over the garage door that is rotting away, etc., etc., etc. Guess how many of those things they’ve done..? You got it – not a one! Yet they want to raise the rent. Mind – I had expected it to go up a bit – maybe $50 a month – even $75, but $125..? No, I don’t think so. If they had replaced the carpet through out, yeah, ok. Replaced the doors with holes in them, sure. But having done nothing to the place..? Not happening. So we get to move. Again. I HATE moving.
Grrrrrrrrrrrr……..
I swear I just can’t win for losing! Ever! For any reason! And I’m about over it! Every time I start to think it might – just maybe – be getting better, BAM here we go again! You know, I try to be a good person. I don’t abuse children or elderly people. I don’t talk bad about people behind their backs & pretend to be their friend to their face. I help people in need, whenever I can. I have come a long ways in controlling my attitude & my angry impulses and tendencies to leap before I look…usually ON someone. I rarely drink. I don’t do drugs that aren’t prescribed to me. I don’t lie. Ever. About ANYTHING. I don’t steal. So, WTF..? Why is it that no matter how I try, I get royally skewered everytime I turn around?
I guess if I didn’t know people who deserve to be skewered, and aren’t it wouldn’t be so bad…oh well, no point snivelling. I’m just so tired. Not just tired so much as tired of…
Well back to work.
See ya laterzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!